I'm sorry and I love you

the only way to truly end this year is to be brutally honest.

first of all, I hated senior year. I was never antisocial. until this year hit.

I left school during every lunch trying to escape the loneliness I felt at lone peak.

I experienced things that I really had hoped I would save for college, but sometimes you can't control everything that happens to you.

January was a hard month for me. I'm still adjusting. still learning from it. but it's ok.

this was the first year depression hit me hard. I don't want you to feel bad for me, because it has given me so much empathy for people with severe depression. which is a lot of us.

this was the first year I understood what love is. and what it's like to be without the one you love. the pain can be unbearable at times. I hate loving him when I know how much wrong he has done to me. but being a victim to it doesn't make it any easier either.

this was the first year I really struggled with fitting in at this school. I'm not mormon in a school that's 98% mormon. sometimes you just want to find your people. the ones that you can be completely yourself with. but I always felt the need to put a mask over my self when I entered lone peak. I've never had a problem with mormons. but being a minority really wears on your soul after a long period of time.

but this was the first year that I truly felt loved in a class. I am so grateful for that. I wouldn't have made it through this year at least somewhat sane without paris. thank you everyone.