cold desert

you came and went

just as fast as fall 

did. 

crumbled under your feet 

like the dead leaves on the frozen ground

i was broken. 

and i wondered how someone could be as careless as the changing seasons

from autumn to winter

you stole my summer. 

11:47 a.m.

threw me at the wall and put a hole in my tired heart. 
11:47 a.m.
today I lost hope in hope.
the news hit my head like a hammer and flowed through me like the last drops of blood in his body.

tears.
welling up and burning the eye sockets of dozens of people.
streaming down the faces of old men and little girls.
the salty taste dripping onto our lips and sinking into our skin
like the hurt and pain that he felt.

the hurt and pain. 

we say we wish we could've done something. 
but only wishing for it is doing nothing.
and right now everyone needs a wish.

I looked up at you and choked on words that burned my throat while you held me.
but right now a hug can't cure the pain

but we all know it should have. 

two days ago I waved and smiled at you not knowing that was the last time I would look into your eyes. 
the last memory I had of you. 

please know we love you.
please remember my wave.
please know that 11:47 is burned in my mind like an everlasting fire
and please know that there will be change.
because there is no greater loss than someone like you.

I'm tired of wondering who is going to spill blood next
and tired of talking about terrible things like they are nothing. 

we aren't sleeping tonight.
but I hope you are.
somewhere beautiful.
I hope you feel our love and I hope our prayers resonate through your ears like a beautiful song.

rest in peace hunter.